Game, Set, Match
The 300th best tennis player in the world is so much better than you are at tennis that it is hard to articulate the difference in ability. His second serve is consistently over 90 mph; his understanding of strategy is voluminous. Were you to play a match against the 300th best tennis player in the world, there is no chance that you would win one game never mind an entire set. It is unlikely that you would score even one point. You would lose 6-0, 6-0, 6-0.
If you were lucky.
The 300th best tennis player in the world was far and away the best tennis player in his high school, the best tennis player in the city in which he grew up, and very likely the best tennis player on his college team. He has a box full of trophies from tournaments all over the country. He is a tremendous athlete.
Yet for all his skill, for all devotion to practice, for all his years of play, the 300th best tennis player on the planet Earth does not make a living from playing tournament tennis. On a given day, he might take a set from the 200th best tennis player in the world. He might even win many of his service games against Roger Federer or Novak Djokovic, were he to somehow participate in a major international tournament against the best of the best, but he bears the expense for his shoes, rackets, and gear. No corporate sponsor or shoe company is paying for his plane tickets to tournaments. If the 300th best tennis player in the world is working in tennis at all, it is as the tennis pro at a country club in a small town in the Midwest. His modest salary pays for his apartment, but if he wants to get married, buy a house, and have children, he is going to have to think about another career.
Certainly there is nothing wrong with earning an honest living doing that which you love: what could be better than getting paid for playing tennis? But if the goal originally was spotlight, fame, millions of dollars and an exorbitant lifestyle, then it must be acknowledged that the fame train has left the station.The likelihood that the 300th best tennis player in the world becomes number one is something under one in 300. The Number One tennis player in the world did not achieve that ranking by losing to number 300.A similar argument can be made for the best actress in your child's school, the best violinist, the best writer, the best ballerina, the best photographer, the best artist, the best anything.Indeed, the number of activities from which your children can make a life but cannot make a living is almost endless: how many working ballerinas do you know?
Here's a riddle: What's the difference between a drummer and a park bench?A park bench can support a family of four.You know the Heisman Trophy, the award for the best player in college football in a given year? There have been 77 recipients since inception. Of whom 15 never played a down in the NFL. There is a 20 % chance that the best player in all of college football in a given year doesn't even get drafted.Your child therefore had better enjoy soccer, singing, ballet, trombone, karate, or drawing. This essay is not a screed against following a passion for the liberal arts, athletics, or fine arts. This article is an admonition against thinking that your child is going to make a living from being the best at something. Chances are she's not going to be the best. Lots of tennis players. Only one of whom is the best.
I love my running group, the conversation, the camaraderie, the health benefits. But I am not waiting by the phone for someone to offer me free running shoes and a $50,000 appearance fee to run the New York Marathon, an event in which I might finish 27,000th out of 40,000 entrants.Most people do not have reality shows dedicated to their brutal extravagances. If your children are likely to lead lives not of quiet desperation but just of quiet living--going to work, finding happiness and contentment where they can--why are you setting them up for the almost invariable disappointment of not being the absolute best at tennis or tuba? A more sensible goal, that of doing the best you can and enjoying the journey win or lose, is much more likely to lead to every good outcome.
Given how staggeringly unlikely it is that your offspring is the next Ludvig Van, doesn't shouting, bribing, or being unhappy with your child about piano lessons seems a tragic expenditure of happiness? Doesn't helping prepare your child to be content rather than number one make statistical as well as emotional sense?
