Go Outside and Play
Surely a case could be made for Muhammad Ali, Babe Ruth, Jesse Owens, Wayne Gretzky, Jack Nicklaus, or Michael Jordan as the greatest male athlete of the 20th century. But no vociferous barfly could overlook Jim Thorpe without being asked to step outside and settle the issue. Olympic gold medalist in the pentathlon and decathlon, professional football, basketball, AND baseball player, the man was extraordinary by any standard. Yet there was one athletic effort in which the legendary Thorpe failed.
Thorpe was asked to follow a nine-year-old and mimic his movements: run when the nine-year-old ran, jump when the nine-year-old jumped, swim when the nine-year-old swam, roll down the hill over the rocks into the pond when the nine-year-old rolled down the hill over the rocks into the pond. There is no record of whether or not Thorpe was required to explain to the nine-year-old why using the words "cat," "ceiling fan," and "duct tape" in the same sentence would not be mommy' first choice or how many times he had to repeat this admonition if so.
What can loving parents learn from the fact that not even the 20th century's best male athlete can keep up with the unrelenting Super Nova energy of your basic nine-year-old?
1) Go outside and play.
No more powerful words were ever spoken by a parent hoping to remain unencumbered by our country's crowded mental health or criminal justice systems. What's that? Where you live there is no place where your kids can safely go outside and play? Here is some directed advice: Move. Quit your job. Sell your house. Move somewhere where your kids can go outside and play.
2) Have some fun with your kids. Toss a ball, go for a swim, take a walk. Then go have a little lie down. Who do you think you are, Jim Thorpe?
3) But if you do consistently drag your out-of-shape, sprained, and sore self down to the park to toss a ball with your kid, keep in mind that backache now can prevent heartache later.
4) Someone pointed out that landed gentry in 19th century Britain did not speak to their children until the kids came back from boarding school at age 16 never mind toss a ball with them. I would mention to this someone that look what has happened to the British Empire in the past century or two and that the last thing you want is children saying "car park" when they obviously mean "parking lot" and asking you to pop round to the "apothecary" when everyone knows they just want something from the drugstore.
In closing, I feel obligated to point out that the story about Jim Thorpe and the nine-year-old may be apocryphal, that is someone may have made it up. That someone might be my dad. Who used to tell me stories, made up and otherwise, when we were tossing the ball together when I was growing up
