Learned League
“The dates known forever in Wall Street history as ‘Black Thursday’, ‘Black Monday’, and ‘Black Tuesday’ all occurred on trading days in what month and year?”
“The violin was likely invented sometime in the 16th century, making a famous and inflammatory saying regarding what individual in 64 CE purely a myth?”
“Crisp cookies with caramel, coconut, and chocolaty stripes”—to some members of the GSUSA, this describes a Caramel deLite, but to others, it’s known as what?
One of my compatriots in Learned League pointed out the “breadcrumbs,” hints hidden in plain sight right there in these questions. “Inflammatory” for example. If you’re having trouble coming up with the name of the insensitive Roman emperor who was so indifferent to the plight of his countrymen that he (allegedly) “fiddled while Rome burned,” “inflammatory”—inflammatory, burned--is the clue to help you arrive at “Nero.”
“GSUSA” is more subtle. It took several minutes for “GSUSA” to become “Girl Scouts of the USA” in my head and “coconut” should have led me to “Samosas.” Which, unfortunately, it did not. A head slapper. Shoulda got it. Obvious in retrospect.
Why do I love Learned League, my collection of 30,000-something like-minded trivia aficionados? Again, the answer is in the question. “Like-minded” implies community, shared values including but not limited to:
· Nobody cheats. AI could find all the answers every day in under a dozen nanoseconds. Great to be with a group that wins or loses based on what our rusty old brains can come up with.
· My comeuppance. It may sound odd coming from a math teacher in recovery but I love getting slaughtered on a daily basis by someone whom I’ve never met who apparently knows more about world history, classical music, food, science, and economics than I do. It tickles me that of the 18 categories—also economics, art, theater, current events, and language—I am above the league average in only two.
· Not everybody agrees that knowledge is important or even relevant. Our neighborhoods are replete with anti-vaxxers, flat Earthers, book burners, history deniers. Remember Copernicus who pointed out that the Earth is not the center of the universe? Not everyone got the memo. Geocentrists are still a thing. But I don’t think that people who think the Earth is the center of the universe play Learned League.
· Snark. Endless glorious snark. Both my sons play. They are merciless when they beat their dad, are vociferous about pointing out the gaps in my understanding. “You put ‘Hoodoo’ instead of ‘Samosas’? That’s the dumbest thing I ever heard.” Glorious. In our family the love language is snark.
And of course the bath of dopamine. Wonderful. “Dill, the next-door neighbor of Jem and Scout in To Kill A Mockingbird was based on Harper Lee’s real life friend and fellow author. Name that writer.”
I know this. I am 100% certain—mortage the farm—posilutely absotively definite that I know this.
Except I cannot for love or money come up with it. Dill is all I can think about, is causing me physical pain. I finally give up, get on with my day. Five hours later—while walking the dog if you must know, and thinking about anything other than writers from Monroeville, Alabama—from out of nowhere the answer lands gently in my head. Truman Capote! Thank you, brain!
I am not a flak for Learned League. It’s not for everyone. Yes, I love it, but I also favor Raymond Chandler novels and remain convinced that The Princess Bride is the greatest movie ever filmed while acknowledging that not everyone shares my predilections. Should you wish to give it a go, respond to the email privately. You have to be at least 13 years old, promise not to cheat, and agree to play every day. As you might imagine participation in Learned League is by referral only.
Oh, and what does this paean to Learned League have to do with raising healthy children in these unhealthy times? Only this: that kids learn what they live is old news. If you smoke, for example, the likelihood that your kids will smoke is three times as high. Because your kids copy your habits? Because your kids will have easier access to nicotene? Because there’s a genetic component? Some combination of factors? I dunno. I do know that I want my kids to think that knowledge is important, that shining a flashlight on their behind or drinking bleach will not protect them from disease. I’m hoping my kids will want to know everything I do and so much more. I want my kids to love learning. Learned League just gives us one more opportunity to discuss everything from the important to the obscure, from To Kill A Mockingbird to Girl Scout cookies.
One last thing: At the risk of overstating the obvious, I gain no advantage from the League if you sign up. This is no MLM. I don’t get easier questions if you join. What is 15 % of 5 % of “October, 1929”? In a world of anti-intellectualism, banned books, and anti-science, I know what side of the street I want my kids and me to be on. Come join us if you like.
